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Is There an Ed in the House?/Script
is about to have his picture 'taken' by the Eds in their photography scam, but his hair keeps sticking up Edd: "Let's pick a theme, shall we? Would you like to pose with a beach ball or this sumptuous lollipop?" Rolf: "No sump, as Rolf prefers his churn that softs breads." Eddy: "There he picked! Now get out of the way, so I can take the picture." Rolf: "May Rolf order one eight by ten glossy with many wallet size photos for his relation?" hair sticks up again Eddy: "Whatever you want, Rolfie boy. I'll just put it on the bill." Edd: "OK Rolf, look at me. Smile for the tawdry sock puppet. That's it, you can do it! Yes, you can! That a boy!" hair sticks up when Eddy takes the picture Eddy: "Hahaha!" to Ed in the 'processing unit' "Is it finished yet?" and Edd are both waiting, when the bell rings Edd: "Well, I'll just check on those prints, shall I?" Ed: "I am done, guys!" shows Edd and Eddy his drawing. Edd: "Um, Ed. What is that behind Rolf?" Ed: "Rolf's head is about to be crunched by a four-legged mutant bus driver." Eddy: "You're supposed to draw a picture of Rolf. No monsters, just Rolf, stupid." Ed: "Oh yeah. Rub it out, rub it out, rub it out-" pushes Ed's drawing pad out of the way Jimmy: "Where do you keep your hot water bottle?" Eddy: "Hey Jimmy, take a hike!" Jimmy out of the way "Ed's busy." Ed: "Under the sink, Jimmy!" Rolf: sat down "Hello? How long must Rolf wait for this portrait of self love?" Edd: "Any time now." Eddy "Rolf's becoming impatient, Eddy." Jimmy to Ed: "How about the vaporizer, stretch?" Ed: "Top shelf, shorty." Eddy: "Hey! Go bug Sarah, you little pest!" Jimmy: "For your information, crabby pants, Sarah is sick and I must take care of her." Eddy: "We should all be so lucky." Ed: "Sarah's sick? Wait!" into the cardboard wall then on to his house "Big brother's coming, baby sister!" Eddy: "Ed, get back here!" Edd: "Oh dear, I hope it's nothing serious. I best get my medical bag; one can never be too sure." is becoming really impatient when Eddy looks at his 'photo' Eddy: "Uhhh... gee, Rolf, you got a face only a mother could love." off Rolf: "ED BOYS!" ---- and Ed are in Sarah's bedroom trying to help her feel better Jimmy: "There there, little frail one; Jimmy will take care of you." Ed: "Ed is here to make you all better, Sarah." Sarah: sniff "I feel hot." Jimmy: "Ah, let me sooth you." Sarah: "Thank you, Jimmy." Ed: through his mouth onto Sarah "Big brothers take care of baby sisters." on blowing onto her Sarah: "My pillow needs fluffing." Jimmy: "There you go, Sarah." Ed: "No let, me, sickly sister!" Sarah relaxed: "Ahhhh..." Jimmy: "Am I a good fluffer, Sarah?" Sarah: "Yes you are, Jimmy." sticks his tongue out at Ed Eddy in the doorway of Sarah's room: "What a load of..." Edd: past Eddy "Pardon me, Eddy. Please step aside, everyone." Sarah's pulse "Well, your pulse is normal." Eddy: "I bet it is." Jimmy: "Sarah's got a fever, Mr. Smarty Pants." Ed: "Yeah, Mr. I wish I was as Smart Pants." Edd: Sarah's forehead "Your temperature seems normal as well." Sarah: "Oh, what do you know?" Edd: "A minor cold at best, I say." Eddy: "Ha!" Edd: "Gentlemen, I suggest we leave, as a cold at any rate can be quite contagious." Sarah shouting: "Yeah! Get lost!" Ed: up Edd and Eddy "I will show them the door, dear debilitated one." Eddy: "Come on, Ed! What are you going to do? Wipe her nose all day?" Sarah off-screen: "I need a tissue, Jimmy." Ed: Edd and Eddy "Oh, I'll fix it for you, Sarah." Jimmy: "Nice and soft for that cute little nose." uses a vacuum cleaner to clean Sarah's nose Eddy: "What a sap! We're wasting the whole day!" Edd: "Ed's just fulfilling his duty as a caring brother, Eddy." Eddy: "You're so understanding." Edd: "Perhaps we could set up a paging system, that way Ed could be free to do your bidding and still be in contact with Sarah." continues to use the vacuum cleaner Eddy: "I like that!" ---- is setting up a paging system above Sarah's bed whilst she's asleep, but the bell accidentally rings, waking her up Sarah shouting: "Double D!" Edd round the waist and picks him up "What the heck are you doing?" Edd: "Ahh, trying to help you." Sarah: "Oh, OK Double D." giggles Edd: "Being confined to one's room can be quite frustrating, so I found a way to ease Ed's, I mean your burden. Uh... just pull this handle and someone will assist you." Sarah: "It's too high." string on pager "No it's too low. Too high! Little low." and Jimmy are watching but Jimmy keeps going in front of Ed, so Ed copies him "Nope, too high! Way too low. High! Low. High. High." Edd: "Enough already! You may not be feeling well; I can sympathize with that, but I'm trying to-" Sarah: gives a raspberry at Edd "Serves you right." Edd angry: "Why, you-!" Ed Edd: "No, Double D!" Edd: picks him up and lifts him out of Sarah's room "If I catch a cold...! I'll...I'll... Just give me five minutes with that germ spreading brat!" rings her bell Ed: Edd "Coming, Sarah dear." Jimmy: "Can I get you anything, Sarah?" Ed: "Yeah, can I get you anything, Sarah?" Sarah: "Would you guys be so kind as to LET ME FINISH SLEEPING?!!" pushes Edd and Eddy out of his house, and carries Jimmy out, into the Cul-de-Sac Ed: "Sarah needs to rest because she is sick." Eddy: "Ed, how can you be so stupid?" Ed: pushing them "I watch cartoons, Eddy." Eddy: "Yeah, well grow up; forget stupid Sarah. Follow me to your future, lumpy!" Eds and Jimmy go to Eddy's garage where he's about to unveil his next scam "We blew up on the photo scam, so on to plan B: 'The Triple E Free Driving School'! Only it's not free, and we'll charge them. Double D, you're the instructor." Edd: "Me? but I..." Eddy: "Ed, you're the motor." Ed: "I have achieved greatness!" bell rings Jimmy: "It's Sarah!" Ed: "I'll be back guys!" Edd: "My paging system seems effective, don't you think Eddy?" Eddy: Edd a pile of traffic cones, then starts to mock him "'My paging system seems effective, don't you think Eddy?' How are we suppose to get any work done with Ed answering your stupid paging system?" Ed: with Jimmy "Okey dokey! I'm ready, Eddy." Eddy: "What took ya? I got students waiting!" Nazz and Jonny waiting for their driving lessons Jonny: "Where's the obstacle course, Eddy? Plank's itching to tear up some pavement!" Eddy: "Comin' right up, Jonny boy. Here we go!" grabs Jimmy and ties him up Jimmy: "Ahh! No, stop, that tickles, stop!" Eddy: "We aim to please. Let Plank wrap his bumper around this obstacle." Edd: himself "Let's try to sound convincing now, shall we Double D? Let's see now." round and sees Nazz is next to him "Good day, pupil. Welcome to the Triple E Driving Course. My name is Eddward, and I'll be your instructor for the day." Nazz: "Hi, Eddward. Ready when you are." Edd nervous: "Well well, um...Shall we begin with...um...Well, first we must, uh, buckle our safety belts, uh... shall we?" Nazz: "Not cool; they're, stuck Eddward. Can you give me a hand?" to Edd Edd: Ohh, I suppose so." to fasten the seatbelt, basically two ends of a power cable, when Nazz manages to do it Nazz: "Like that?" Edd: "Very good! Umm... once safe to do so, please proceed on to the course." Nazz: "Awesome!" Ed: to push the car and makes car noises "Vroom! Vroom!" Edd: "Not too fast, now. Easy on the corners. That's it! Nicely done." bell rings again and Jimmy manages to get untangled Jimmy: "I'm comin', girlfriend!" Ed: at where Jimmy was "What a weasel! She's my sick sister!" Edd: "Ed?" Eddy shouting: "Hey! You're the motor, get back here!" and Nazz continue traveling Edd confused: "Why aren't we stopping?" Nazz: "Oops." car starts spinning round Edd: "Go left! Go left! Brake! Brake!" Nazz: "What brake?" Edd: Eddy "You forgot to put in a brake?!" car continues to roll off-screen ---- back at Ed's house, Jimmy runs through the door of Sarah's room with a plate of sandwiches. Ed also runs towards the door with a bowl but Jimmy shuts the door on him. The bowl smashes against the wall Ed: "Uh oh!" back downstairs Jimmy: door and laughs then closes it and walks over to Sarah "A three cheese grilled sandwich and, see, no crust!" Ed: down door and comes in with a large fridge "Take your pick, unwell baby sister of mine." fridge on the floor, breaking the floor Jimmy: a cheese sandwich into Sarah's mouth "Don't listen to him, Sarah. Cheese is good for a cold; you know it's your favorite." Ed: "She's my sister, and my sister likes fruit and vegetables! Isn't that right, baby sister?!?!" and Jimmy help Sarah chew by moving her cheeks Jimmy: "Here, Sarah, let me help you chew." Ed: "I will help her chew." mumbles with her mouth full of food Jimmy: "What's that? A book you say? I'll get you one." Ed: "In the void of space, Zorba the two-headed mutant-" Jimmy: "Silly little Jilly frolicked in the daisies." Ed: "Spewing slime from its tentacles!" Jimmy: "'I'm so silly', said Jilly." Ed: "As Zorba sucked its brain!" Jimmy: "I wish I were a potato so the prince would like me." Ed: "He gagged on his bones!" rings her bell and Ed and Jimmy stop reading Sarah: "See the ball?" Jimmy: "Yes, I do, Sarah." Ed: "Yep, it's a ball." Sarah: "Go get it!" Jimmy: out the window "Certainly, Sarah." Ed: jumps out the window "I'll get it, Sarah." ---- the Cul-de-Sac, Edd and Eddy are pulling the car from the driving school out of some bushes which Edd ended up in Eddy: "Of all the- that's two scams down the tube." Edd: "You know what they say Eddy, three's the charm." ball bounces in front of them Jimmy after the ball: "Mine, mine, mine!" jumps into the broken car and runs off Eddy: "That's it!" towards Ed and gets him on the floor "Ed, what's with ya?" Ed: pushing himself away with Eddy sat on top of him "Sarah's sick, get ball, then Jimmy, I gotta-" Eddy: "You gotta nothing!" Ed: "I gotta nothing?" Eddy: Ed "You're the big brother, that means you're the boss. Get over there and show her what you're made of! Get mean!" Ed: up "You're right, Eddy. I am the big brother, Sarah!" stops "Oh, I know!" hikes his pants up all the way to his chest. Eddy: "Whoa, you're a tough guy, Ed." Edd: "You've sent him into the lion's den; you know that, don't you?" Ed: "Yep." ---- Ed's house, Jimmy has returned with the ball Sarah: with the ball with Jimmy when Ed enters with his pants pulled up high "Too late! Jimmy already got my ball." throws the ball outside the window outside Eddy: "You work hard all your life, and what's it get cha?" ball hits Edd inside Sarah shouting: "Ed! Go get my ball!" Ed: "No ball! Get in bed! Rest now!" Sarah: nervously "Please get my ball." Jimmy: "Don't you fret, Sarah; I'll get it." Ed: "Here, let me help you." throws Jimmy out the window outside Eddy: "Pass the tape will ya, Double D?" lands on Edd Jimmy: "Ahhh! My head!" inside Sarah: tears "You threw my friend out, Ed! How could you do that?!? He was just trying to help!" cries Ed: "Aww... I am sorry, baby sister. A big hug will make you feel all better. There, there." smiles devilishly beats up Ed. It's not shown but you can tell from the outside of the house which is jumping up and down Ed: "Get it off! Get it off!" Edd: "It seems Sarah's made the road to recovery." sneezes on Eddy Eddy: "Say it, don't spray it." sneezes again Eddy: "What's with you?" Edd: "Ooh, I knew it. Curse you, common cold microorganisms! It's all part of the big plan, don't you see? They wait and strike when you're the most vulnerable." again Jimmy: "Jeepers! You sound sick, Double D. You shouldn't be outside. You need some TLC." Edd: "Don't just stand there, do something! Eddy!" at the damaged car and Ed's house Ed: "Pain! It hurts!" Eddy: "I wonder what's on TV?" Ed: "Have mercy depraved sibling!" Category:Season 4 Category:Season 4 Scripts